To Cross The Rubicon

As active parents we want our children to have a good future. We try to give them a good and relevant education, a good human value system, and continuous guidance until they become adults and do not want to hear from us anymore. Then we stop being the active parents and become passive parents, we only provide advice and guidance when asked.

If we are the only influence over our children, then the growth of our children in the direction that we chart for them may be reasonably better assured. But we do not isolate our children. They are also exposed to many elements not within our control. They exchange information with their peers at school, they watch and learn from television programs, they use internet as a medium to stay in touch with their friends and the world, and so on. As they receive a load of information, they begin to form their own opinions about their lives, and how they want their own future to be.

In my observation, I find that over-parented children tend to be non competitive, less competitive, or their competitiveness is delayed until later in life. I guess it is basic human nature. If there is a shield behind us, why not use it as often as we can to deflect the arrows aimed at us? In our quest to help and guide our children to be their best, overly 'good' parents are actually doing a great harm to their children. These 'good' parents are preventing their children from learning the competitive skills required in the real life.

In history, both the eastern and western versions, we have seen examples of how great battles are won after the chief commander ordered the removal of the retreat route. This was done to deliberately force the army to realise that the only way to get to home is through winning the battle, there is no retreat. There is no more way to get home from the way we came.

As a parent, I like to see my children go forward in battle, with the training and armoury I help them to build, and as soon as they become an adult by definition. I also hope that when they go forward, they move with a determination and knowledge that there is no way to retreat to home from the battle field. The only way to go is forward, and the only way forward is to win the battles.

I wait to see the days when my children cross their Rubicons.