One Little Step

My son Colin has finally moved out of home. He is now renting and living on his own.

I have been advocating that Colin considers moving out ever since he started work. Initially I was alone in this push. Then my wife was convinced and joined me. Not everyone else in the larger family thinks this is a good idea. There have been some questions asked on why I wanted to push my son out.

You know, when things concern those closest to you, you can lose your mind. If we were to advise our friends about their kids, we would have likely said to them they should let their kids learn the rope as soon as possible. Yet, for our own kids, we seem to have other 'inexplicable' ideas.

My reason for wanting Colin to leave home is simple. A delay in Colin moving out is a delay for him to fully learn to be responsible for himself as an adult. I want him to start taking care of his own stuffs, and doing his own chores. When he lived with us, he has taken these chores for granted. He did not see that it was his responsibility to take care of those stuffs.

When I became an adult, at age of early 20's, dad never talked to me about living on my own. For mum, she probably wouldn't worry one way or the other. I left home naturally because there was no work near home. So there was no need for the push. I can't say for sure I would have left home voluntarily if I had found work near home.

There is a Chinese saying, which goes like this:

When you are responsible for the running of the household, then only you will know that rice and wood are costly. (wood for fire).

When you become a parent, then only you will appreciate the greatness of your own parents.

当家才知材米贵。养子方晓父娘恩。

I hope the new generations bear this great saying in mind, and pass on to their next generations.

The saying proved its worth instantly. Just after two days, Colin said to us that he 'did not know' he was finishing two litres of milk in two days. While living at home with us, the milk flowed freely. No doubt there will be many more discoveries to come.