Maths And Molehill

Until recently my children disliked learning Mathematics. They told me Maths was just too difficult. I said to them that Maths is, in many ways, easier than the other subjects they learn in school. Why is that so? They asked. I explained that in Maths, there is usually only one right answer. If you get that, nobody can say you are wrong. Consider most other subjects, even when you think you have done well in the answer, the teacher could still not want to give you full marks.

We all know what a molehill looks like, that is when we are being objective. At other times when we are less objective, a molehill looks like a mountain. It must be dealt with like a mountainous problem. Hence the saying "making a mountain out of a molehill".

At any rate, I prefer Maths than any other subjects. A 1 is a 1 here, there or anywhere, now, then or anytime. A molehill is a molehill sometimes, and a mountain at other times.

My children are beginning to like Maths now.

Trouble Spouts From The Mouth

The majority of inter-personal conflicts stems from the mouth - unnecessary and uncontrolled gossiping. So many people are enjoying gossiping as a favourite pastime. Unfortunately most of these gossipers never thought of the consequences when their gossips got found out. Then we have strained relationships. Nobody likes to be gossiped about, especially when the gossipers speak as though they are the authority on the persons they gossip about.

A small and rather 'harmless' sounding gossip, when found out, could destroy decades of good relationship. It could pit parents against children, siblings against each other, good friends against each other, bosses against their employees and many others who should have been close to one another.

Think before you speak. Is it really necessary for that which you have just spoken?

Trouble spouts from the mouth? 祸从口出. Absolutely.

Silence is golden? Absolutely.

The Chattering Guest

There is an English saying "make yourself at home." It is said to a guest whom you have invited over to your home. Interpreted literally, it could mean that the guest is invited to treat this home of the host like it is his own, and therefore the guest may be free to do everything that he usually does in his own home. Depending on the generosity of his host, the guest may, in reality, be limited in what he can actually do.

One limit that is never tolerated is for the guest to actually usurp the authority of the host, when the guest starts to think, behave and talk as though he is the host himself. This usually happens when the guest is close in relationship to the host, like being a sibling of the host, a child, an in-law, or even close friends. So close is the relationship that the guest takes for granted that he has the authority of the host, or he thinks the host wouldn't mind him acting like one.

Sometimes we have a guest that invites his own guests over to his host's home, for dinner or for a stay. We may have a guest that commits his host to doing something, or to using some of his host's facilities. These are carried out without the prior permission of his host.

Sometimes the unknowing guest jumps to respond on behalf of and in the presence of his host when the response should have been given by the host himself.

The great thing is that the guest is rarely in a position to appreciate that he has committed the gravest mistake in the eyes of his host. This kind of guest lacks the ability to understand his position, his environment and his host's feelings. And, there are actually quite a lot of such type of guests around us.

In Chinese, we refer to this unthinking guest as "喧宾夺主". The chattering guest who usurps the power of his host.

Love Test

This is a test I have used with friends, and the result is quite startling.

If you have been married for a long time, the longer the better but let's say at least more than ten years, so that you have a reasonable expectation of your partner's feelings and temperament. Ask yourself this question:

"If there is really a next life, would you want your spouse now to be your spouse again in the next life?"

Give yourself an honest answer.

Here are my interpretations of the answers.

1. If you answer yes, and if your answer is instantaneous without a second of doubt, then you can claim that you truly love your partner.

2. If your partner also responded with the same affirmative and instantaneity, then both of you are in a truly great love. Congratulations.

3. If you take less than 5 seconds to respond with an affirmative, you probably still love your partner enough to want to have another go.

4. If you take more than 5 seconds to respond, no matter what answer you give, I believe you already have some doubt on your relationship and you are wondering if it is worthwhile to even think about having another go.

5. If you are still thinking, after this long, don't worry, most of the people I test with are found here.

I have found this test to be more meaningful than straight in the face proclamation of "my love for my partner is deeper than the deepest sea."