Until recently my children disliked learning Mathematics. They told me Maths was just too difficult. I said to them that Maths is, in many ways, easier than the other subjects they learn in school. Why is that so? They asked. I explained that in Maths, there is usually only one right answer. If you get that, nobody can say you are wrong. Consider most other subjects, even when you think you have done well in the answer, the teacher could still not want to give you full marks.
We all know what a molehill looks like, that is when we are being objective. At other times when we are less objective, a molehill looks like a mountain. It must be dealt with like a mountainous problem. Hence the saying "making a mountain out of a molehill".
At any rate, I prefer Maths than any other subjects. A 1 is a 1 here, there or anywhere, now, then or anytime. A molehill is a molehill sometimes, and a mountain at other times.
My children are beginning to like Maths now.
Saturday, September 4, 2010
Friday, September 3, 2010
Trouble Spouts From The Mouth
The majority of inter-personal conflicts stems from the mouth - unnecessary and uncontrolled gossiping. So many people are enjoying gossiping as a favourite pastime. Unfortunately most of these gossipers never thought of the consequences when their gossips got found out. Then we have strained relationships. Nobody likes to be gossiped about, especially when the gossipers speak as though they are the authority on the persons they gossip about.
A small and rather 'harmless' sounding gossip, when found out, could destroy decades of good relationship. It could pit parents against children, siblings against each other, good friends against each other, bosses against their employees and many others who should have been close to one another.
Think before you speak. Is it really necessary for that which you have just spoken?
Trouble spouts from the mouth? 祸从口出. Absolutely.
Silence is golden? Absolutely.
A small and rather 'harmless' sounding gossip, when found out, could destroy decades of good relationship. It could pit parents against children, siblings against each other, good friends against each other, bosses against their employees and many others who should have been close to one another.
Think before you speak. Is it really necessary for that which you have just spoken?
Trouble spouts from the mouth? 祸从口出. Absolutely.
Silence is golden? Absolutely.
Thursday, September 2, 2010
The Chattering Guest
There is an English saying "make yourself at home." It is said to a guest whom you have invited over to your home. Interpreted literally, it could mean that the guest is invited to treat this home of the host like it is his own, and therefore the guest may be free to do everything that he usually does in his own home. Depending on the generosity of his host, the guest may, in reality, be limited in what he can actually do.
One limit that is never tolerated is for the guest to actually usurp the authority of the host, when the guest starts to think, behave and talk as though he is the host himself. This usually happens when the guest is close in relationship to the host, like being a sibling of the host, a child, an in-law, or even close friends. So close is the relationship that the guest takes for granted that he has the authority of the host, or he thinks the host wouldn't mind him acting like one.
Sometimes we have a guest that invites his own guests over to his host's home, for dinner or for a stay. We may have a guest that commits his host to doing something, or to using some of his host's facilities. These are carried out without the prior permission of his host.
Sometimes the unknowing guest jumps to respond on behalf of and in the presence of his host when the response should have been given by the host himself.
The great thing is that the guest is rarely in a position to appreciate that he has committed the gravest mistake in the eyes of his host. This kind of guest lacks the ability to understand his position, his environment and his host's feelings. And, there are actually quite a lot of such type of guests around us.
In Chinese, we refer to this unthinking guest as "喧宾夺主". The chattering guest who usurps the power of his host.
One limit that is never tolerated is for the guest to actually usurp the authority of the host, when the guest starts to think, behave and talk as though he is the host himself. This usually happens when the guest is close in relationship to the host, like being a sibling of the host, a child, an in-law, or even close friends. So close is the relationship that the guest takes for granted that he has the authority of the host, or he thinks the host wouldn't mind him acting like one.
Sometimes we have a guest that invites his own guests over to his host's home, for dinner or for a stay. We may have a guest that commits his host to doing something, or to using some of his host's facilities. These are carried out without the prior permission of his host.
Sometimes the unknowing guest jumps to respond on behalf of and in the presence of his host when the response should have been given by the host himself.
The great thing is that the guest is rarely in a position to appreciate that he has committed the gravest mistake in the eyes of his host. This kind of guest lacks the ability to understand his position, his environment and his host's feelings. And, there are actually quite a lot of such type of guests around us.
In Chinese, we refer to this unthinking guest as "喧宾夺主". The chattering guest who usurps the power of his host.
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Love Test
This is a test I have used with friends, and the result is quite startling.
If you have been married for a long time, the longer the better but let's say at least more than ten years, so that you have a reasonable expectation of your partner's feelings and temperament. Ask yourself this question:
"If there is really a next life, would you want your spouse now to be your spouse again in the next life?"
Give yourself an honest answer.
Here are my interpretations of the answers.
1. If you answer yes, and if your answer is instantaneous without a second of doubt, then you can claim that you truly love your partner.
2. If your partner also responded with the same affirmative and instantaneity, then both of you are in a truly great love. Congratulations.
3. If you take less than 5 seconds to respond with an affirmative, you probably still love your partner enough to want to have another go.
4. If you take more than 5 seconds to respond, no matter what answer you give, I believe you already have some doubt on your relationship and you are wondering if it is worthwhile to even think about having another go.
5. If you are still thinking, after this long, don't worry, most of the people I test with are found here.
I have found this test to be more meaningful than straight in the face proclamation of "my love for my partner is deeper than the deepest sea."
If you have been married for a long time, the longer the better but let's say at least more than ten years, so that you have a reasonable expectation of your partner's feelings and temperament. Ask yourself this question:
"If there is really a next life, would you want your spouse now to be your spouse again in the next life?"
Give yourself an honest answer.
Here are my interpretations of the answers.
1. If you answer yes, and if your answer is instantaneous without a second of doubt, then you can claim that you truly love your partner.
2. If your partner also responded with the same affirmative and instantaneity, then both of you are in a truly great love. Congratulations.
3. If you take less than 5 seconds to respond with an affirmative, you probably still love your partner enough to want to have another go.
4. If you take more than 5 seconds to respond, no matter what answer you give, I believe you already have some doubt on your relationship and you are wondering if it is worthwhile to even think about having another go.
5. If you are still thinking, after this long, don't worry, most of the people I test with are found here.
I have found this test to be more meaningful than straight in the face proclamation of "my love for my partner is deeper than the deepest sea."
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
The Chinese Are Doing Fine With NEP Part II
"If there was no NEP I wouldn't be driving this taxi". A chatty Chinese Malaysian taxi driver full of resentment once told me. He is not alone in expressing hate towards the Malaysian social program to transform the well being of the politically powerful majority Malay race.
The taxi driver might well be right about his own life without NEP. Nobody knows. In the larger context, can the NEP be responsible for the existence of all Chinese taxi drivers, or for that matter, all the Chinese underclass? The answer must be emphatically no. Look, there are still Chinese taxi drivers in Singapore, Hong Kong and Taiwan, all successful and predominantly Chinese states.
The NEP has severely handicapped the Chinese Malaysians community as a whole, that itself shouldn't be in doubt. However, it is when faced with life's biggest challenges that humans thrive in survival. In this regard, the Chinese Malaysians work harder than the politically favoured race to compensate for the deliberate constriction of their achievement by their government. The end result is that the Chinese Malaysians continue to perform well against all odds.
As long as the politically protected and favoured group can gain wealth through government decree with ease, perhaps the stated NEP goal of handing over 30% of the nation's wealth to this group on a plate will never realise, as the disadvantaged group will always work harder to ensure their own economic survival, and in the process raise their overall wealth share ever higher. But no worries, the Malays will get their 30% or more eventually, when their population ratio increases to a level that the Chinese ratio becomes insignificant.
The taxi driver might well be right about his own life without NEP. Nobody knows. In the larger context, can the NEP be responsible for the existence of all Chinese taxi drivers, or for that matter, all the Chinese underclass? The answer must be emphatically no. Look, there are still Chinese taxi drivers in Singapore, Hong Kong and Taiwan, all successful and predominantly Chinese states.
The NEP has severely handicapped the Chinese Malaysians community as a whole, that itself shouldn't be in doubt. However, it is when faced with life's biggest challenges that humans thrive in survival. In this regard, the Chinese Malaysians work harder than the politically favoured race to compensate for the deliberate constriction of their achievement by their government. The end result is that the Chinese Malaysians continue to perform well against all odds.
As long as the politically protected and favoured group can gain wealth through government decree with ease, perhaps the stated NEP goal of handing over 30% of the nation's wealth to this group on a plate will never realise, as the disadvantaged group will always work harder to ensure their own economic survival, and in the process raise their overall wealth share ever higher. But no worries, the Malays will get their 30% or more eventually, when their population ratio increases to a level that the Chinese ratio becomes insignificant.
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Tale Of The Black Cat
Once there was an old priest who acquired a pet black cat. The cat was so fond of its master that it wouldn't stay a foot away from the priest all day. It would go around the legs of the priest rubbing its fur against the master's legs. Therein arose a problem. When the priest was in the midst of conducting the mass, the cat would still be circling around the master, causing the priest and the congregation to lose concentration on the progress of the mass.
The priest then ordered that the cat be caught and caged just before the start of the mass, and only released after the mass was over. This procedure was repeated like a ritual each time the mass was celebrated.
One day the priest died. A new priest was posted to the church. The cat was not particularly in favour of this new priest and hardly ever went close to him. But the ritual to get the cat caged before the mass continued as it had become a ritualistic tradition that must be done each time before the mass.
And then the cat died. The church went about to find a replacement black cat, so that the cat could again be caged just before each mass as it was a traditional thing to do.
And the tradition continued unstopped.
What is the moral of the story?
If something has been done long enough, it can become accepted as a good practice, or if you like it another way, it is that if you tell a lie often enough, it can become accepted as the truth.
The priest then ordered that the cat be caught and caged just before the start of the mass, and only released after the mass was over. This procedure was repeated like a ritual each time the mass was celebrated.
One day the priest died. A new priest was posted to the church. The cat was not particularly in favour of this new priest and hardly ever went close to him. But the ritual to get the cat caged before the mass continued as it had become a ritualistic tradition that must be done each time before the mass.
And then the cat died. The church went about to find a replacement black cat, so that the cat could again be caged just before each mass as it was a traditional thing to do.
And the tradition continued unstopped.
What is the moral of the story?
If something has been done long enough, it can become accepted as a good practice, or if you like it another way, it is that if you tell a lie often enough, it can become accepted as the truth.
Saturday, August 21, 2010
Australia Chooses
Today Australians decide which party is to govern them for the next three years. Opinion polls are predicting a 50-50 race to the finish between ruling Labour Party and the opposition Liberal Party. There is a chance of a hung parliament, or a minority government being installed with neither major party being able to garner enough seats to govern on its own.
Australians rarely elect a government with an overwhelming majority. They know that the best way to make the government work honestly and watch every step of the way is to install an effective opposition who will be put in power at the next general election should the current government make more than a few mistakes or break a few election promises.
You get the best government when the government understands it could fall the next time if it does not perform now.
Tonight there is a real possibility that Julia Gillard, our first female Prime Minister, may also become the shortest serving Prime Minister ever, and a Prime Minister never elected by the people.
It is Australia's D Day.
Australians rarely elect a government with an overwhelming majority. They know that the best way to make the government work honestly and watch every step of the way is to install an effective opposition who will be put in power at the next general election should the current government make more than a few mistakes or break a few election promises.
You get the best government when the government understands it could fall the next time if it does not perform now.
Tonight there is a real possibility that Julia Gillard, our first female Prime Minister, may also become the shortest serving Prime Minister ever, and a Prime Minister never elected by the people.
It is Australia's D Day.
Friday, August 20, 2010
Tyranny and Benevolence Of The Majority
When I graduated from primary school, it was customary for graduating students to request their teachers and fellow students to write autographs. I have since lost my autograph book. But some words left in there were simply too powerful to be forgotten. Among them were one left by my Year 4 teacher, Mr Ng Moh Kuan. He said this:
待人要厚，待己要薄。Translated, it means 'Treat others better than you would treat yourself.'
In those times, it was indeed possible to find occasions when you would treat others better than you would treat yourself. I remember my grandparents and parents would reserve the best foods and drinks for guests. It was not uncommon to find chickens served only when guests came. Even as kids we were not allowed to consume those delicious soft drinks that suddenly appeared at home as they were brought in for guests only. With precious little resources, still I know my grandfather would have donated money or materials to others that we would not have given ourselves.
Then as society became better off, proportionately the community spirit of 'treating others better' waned. However, it would still be commendable if we could at least treat others as well as we would treat ourselves. And so we have the saying of treat others as you would want them treat yourself. The Chinese equivalent is 己所不欲，勿施于人, or do unto others what you want them do unto you.
In many communities around the world, the ability to treat others, particularly those vulnerable sections of the community, fairly has become the benchmark for a great community. Throughout history, many great people have said something to the equivalent of this,
"The greatness of a nation is measured by how it treats its weakest members."
And who are the weakest members of a community? There are many possible ways of identifying them. A good way is to determine if they have any representative voice in the larger community. The weakest members are usually those without a voice, as they are often the minority class and therefore lacking in representation.
When we are in a position of power, when we are the majority, it is easy for us to look after ourselves. How we treat those minority amongst us is what measures us apart.
There can be tyranny, or benevolence, of the majority.
The difference between a pariah and a great nation. So said great people of the past.
待人要厚，待己要薄。Translated, it means 'Treat others better than you would treat yourself.'
In those times, it was indeed possible to find occasions when you would treat others better than you would treat yourself. I remember my grandparents and parents would reserve the best foods and drinks for guests. It was not uncommon to find chickens served only when guests came. Even as kids we were not allowed to consume those delicious soft drinks that suddenly appeared at home as they were brought in for guests only. With precious little resources, still I know my grandfather would have donated money or materials to others that we would not have given ourselves.
Then as society became better off, proportionately the community spirit of 'treating others better' waned. However, it would still be commendable if we could at least treat others as well as we would treat ourselves. And so we have the saying of treat others as you would want them treat yourself. The Chinese equivalent is 己所不欲，勿施于人, or do unto others what you want them do unto you.
In many communities around the world, the ability to treat others, particularly those vulnerable sections of the community, fairly has become the benchmark for a great community. Throughout history, many great people have said something to the equivalent of this,
"The greatness of a nation is measured by how it treats its weakest members."
And who are the weakest members of a community? There are many possible ways of identifying them. A good way is to determine if they have any representative voice in the larger community. The weakest members are usually those without a voice, as they are often the minority class and therefore lacking in representation.
When we are in a position of power, when we are the majority, it is easy for us to look after ourselves. How we treat those minority amongst us is what measures us apart.
There can be tyranny, or benevolence, of the majority.
The difference between a pariah and a great nation. So said great people of the past.
God Why Do These Things Happen?
Today I attended a students' work exhibition at my children's school. One of the work books my daughter showed to me was her religious education activity book. As a student of a Catholic school, religious education is part of the curriculum that my daughter learns.
On page one of her work book, my daughter wrote these words. "God, why do you allow tsunamis to happen and kill so many people?".
I was quite curious as to why my daughter asked this question. So I asked. She said her religious education teacher talked about God's love for us. However, there are times when we do not know why certain things happen that appear to show otherwise. Still, we must not lose faith, and we can remember these situations when God's love appear to be missing us so when we meet Him face to face one day, we can ask Him such questions.
I get a lot of mixed feelings from my daughter's response. However, what strikes me the most are two feelings. The first is to persevere in faith in the face of adversity. The second is to confront what we do not know head on, instead of hiding behind untenable explanations to support our own interpretations of the situations.
Such as this one, tsunamis victims have to die because they live in sins. What a load of rubbish.
I would rather accept that I don't know my God, than to act as His interpreter.
On page one of her work book, my daughter wrote these words. "God, why do you allow tsunamis to happen and kill so many people?".
I was quite curious as to why my daughter asked this question. So I asked. She said her religious education teacher talked about God's love for us. However, there are times when we do not know why certain things happen that appear to show otherwise. Still, we must not lose faith, and we can remember these situations when God's love appear to be missing us so when we meet Him face to face one day, we can ask Him such questions.
I get a lot of mixed feelings from my daughter's response. However, what strikes me the most are two feelings. The first is to persevere in faith in the face of adversity. The second is to confront what we do not know head on, instead of hiding behind untenable explanations to support our own interpretations of the situations.
Such as this one, tsunamis victims have to die because they live in sins. What a load of rubbish.
I would rather accept that I don't know my God, than to act as His interpreter.
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Know-who, Know-how And Now-how
Many years back a retiring executive of Telenor, a Norwegian telecommunication company which held substantial shareholding in the Malaysian telecommunication company Digi, made this interesting observation about how businesses were conducted in Malaysia. He said that many business people were keenly aware that to do business in Malaysia, you first need the 'know-who' to win the business, and then followed by 'know-how' to get the work done.
This executive had just returned from Malaysia after his posting at Digi. He concluded, through his observation, that the Malaysian way of conducting business did not follow closely the 'know-who' to 'know-how' sequence as people would like to believe. It was more like a 'know-who' then followed by 'now-how'.
So what is the difference between 'know-how' and 'now-how'? For a start, 'know-how' suggests that the company getting the business from 'know-who' would still know how to go about getting the work done. As for 'now-how', the company that just won the business from 'know-who' would probably be praying for some divine guidance on how to get the work completed.
Go figure the difference.
This executive had just returned from Malaysia after his posting at Digi. He concluded, through his observation, that the Malaysian way of conducting business did not follow closely the 'know-who' to 'know-how' sequence as people would like to believe. It was more like a 'know-who' then followed by 'now-how'.
So what is the difference between 'know-how' and 'now-how'? For a start, 'know-how' suggests that the company getting the business from 'know-who' would still know how to go about getting the work done. As for 'now-how', the company that just won the business from 'know-who' would probably be praying for some divine guidance on how to get the work completed.
Go figure the difference.
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